Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Love of my VISA - Part One

Who doesn’t believe in love at first sight for at least once? The kind of love that makes us more irresponsible than ever before - a love with a kind of energy that give us the courage more then thinking.

The very roots of the YOLO shit of this decade!

Now that’s what I am wanting to talk about. There are these characters in Peru (more chicks than dudes) who falls in love at first sight every single fucking night. We call them: "Brichera" for the girls and "Brichero" for the dudes.

A bank sells opportunities, beer sells good-time and a Brichera(o) will sell their "love". That is what they do. Sometimes they will offer you a variety of ‘products’ like passion, compassion, companionship, guidance, information, transactions, management assistance, le sexy time,  shopping recommendations, bodyguards and shit that you don't even imagine..

You have to understand that you will never get the right ‘products’. They are put on this earth to rip you off so don’t get sucked into their luxurious offers.

If you ask a brichera(o) for something they will be really attentive and imply that they are the goto person for anything you want.  For example: If you ask these people for the best place to party, where is a nice restraunt, where can I go for a day etc.   They will respond with ‘if you want, actually I know a guy, I know a place’.  DON’T GET SUCKED IN.  One very important thing to remember is that these people are desperate and they only want you for a couple of reasons as explained in the 3rd paragraph and PLEASE do not reveal any information about yourself like ‘where your staying, don’t give our your phone number, where you are going to be heading that night’ even though they might be a very good looking and sexually attractive.

So, they are an awkward-cheap version of a vampire that rules the nights at Cusco and they know (or pretend to know) everybody and everyplace around.

Cheap-Vampires of Cusco with a main goal: Getting a trophy…that could be you. Don`t even think that being that "trophy" is cool because it isn't at all.

More or less in this post I'll try to help you on how to detect and avoid these bloodsuckers.

THE BIRCHERA(O) WILL LOOK LIKE THIS



1.       The appearance:
a.       For the boys :
·         Abandoned hair with some kind of rasta-string hanging there.
·         Black or White undershirts when they go "fancy" but in regular days will be just the outdoor adventure clotles or something poorly washed from the community center.
·         Sometimes they use sport-caps (in a 45° position) of teams that they even know what the heck they play.
b.      For the girls:
·         Shiny straight hair with some extra red color thanks to L'oreal or mud.
·         Mostly of the time a black or red outfit.
·         The blouse with plunging neckline.
·         Very tight jeans with no pockets
·         Very ATTRACTIVE (sometimes)
·         Extreme make-up with Barney-purple and red-slut colors.


2. The behavior
·   At least 5 word of most used lenguages.
·   They work in tourist agencies, restaurants, hostels or just nothing.
·   They have tons of free-drinks tickets which is their currency.
·   They try to call the attention by screaming or dacing really hard.
·   Rum and coke in hands (from a free-drink transaction) or mojito, scotch or vodka if someone else is paying.
   3.The intention
·   Getting laid (of course who doesn't right?)
·   Drink for free
·   And a Visa. (Getting pregnant, or enlighting you with a unique bussines)

So be fucking aware and spread the word ;)